A Perfect Moment

2 seconds. I kid you not. 2 seconds is exactly how long it took tonight before my 8 year old and my 4 year began fighting after not seeing eachother for 24 hours.

"Mama, Alex is teasing on me." This is something I hear at least 20 times a night and tonight was no exception. Tonight my children fought about EVERYTHING! They fought about who unbuckled their seatbelts first, who got into the house first, who got to play playstation first, who got to eat dinner first, who finished eating dinner first, who got to take a shower first, who had to shower with Jacob. Then after all this, they fought with me over what time was bedtime. Then they fought about who was going to bed first! UGH!

Why do children fight with their siblings?

I remember growing up, I fought with my sisters. I don't recall fighting with my brother very much. He and I always stuck together. But man, my sisters, they fought with eachother a lot and then as I got older, I remember fighting with them too! In fact, I found it kind of funny but the other night, I found a letter that Karen must have written to me back in 1989 or 1990. We had gotten into a big fight over something. She was home for the week from college and I am sure I was threatened by her taking all of mom's attention away from me that week or something stupid like that. Anyway, at the end of the letter she told me that I needed to think about what being her little sister meant to me. I am sure back then I probably would have responded that it meant that I was stuck being related to her for the rest of my life. After all, isn't that what all little sisters/brothers think of their older brothers/sisters? Today, if she asked me that, I would tell her that it means everything in the world to me. In fact, I thank God for her every day of my life now. She's there for me all the time, I wouldn't trade her for the world. Both of my sisters have become best friends to me today.

What I truly wish is that I could instill that same feeling in my children today. There are days like today that I would love to say to them "Look, you guys are going to be best friends some day, why not start today? Quit fighting with one another and enjoy this time you have now because when you grow up, you are going to move away from one another, have lives of your own, families of your own and you are going to be too busy to take time to play playstation with one another or swing on the swings. Love eachother, laugh with eachother, create warm loving memories now, don't wait."

Of course I know that this tactic would not work with my children. After all, just last month I was discussing with my 8 year old who he would invite to his birthday party next year. He listed a few names and said "you know, my friends". I asked him what abou this older brother Travis, wasn't he his friend? "Mom, Travis is not my friend, he is my brother." So I asked him, "Can't your brother be your friend?" "No way!" he replied. I know he's wrong though and Travis will be his friend someday.

I remember a time though when things were different between the two of them. It was a few days after I brought Alex home from the hospital. Alex had developed a fever. I told Travis, who was 3 at the time, I needed to give Alex a bath to try to break his fever. Travis started screaming at me and crying "Don't you break my baby brother!!!" He continued to cry all through Alex's bath until I brought Alex over by him, all wrapped in a towel and showed him that he was o.k and I hadn't "broke" him. He was so happy. He leaned over and gave Alex a kiss. Today, I think Travis would be happy if Alex was broke and instead of a kiss, he'd likely punch him.

However, at the end of this night of 1,000 fights, I managed to find a perfect moment. This moment came when I was rocking Kyle to sleep as he layed on my chest. He was so warm, so cozy, so quiet.

In that moment, I found all the peace I needed.