Never did I imagine that life for my children would end up the way it is today.
Never a thought crossed my mind that they would ever feel pain and hurt the way they have.
The mistakes I have made.
The lives I have touched.
The lives that have touched ours...
Somewhere I made a mistake,
and now one of my children doesn't believe in God.
Somewhere I made a mistake,
and now one of my children feels they are stuipd.
Somewhere I made a mistake,
and now one of my children longs for his father every day.
Somewhere I made a mistake,
and now one of my children thinks only I can do things for him.
I can't change my past.
I can't fix the damage I have done.
It's my fault.
Those therapy sessions of the future shoudl be paid for by me.
It's my fault.
I have damaged their innocense.
The choices I made,
The things I thought I did right,
The things I knew were wrong.
It's my fault.
To go back to that first day
that I ever held their little hands...
To go back to that first day
I ever kissed their little heads...
I counted their fingers,
I counted their toes,
I examined their ears, their eyes, their nose...
I wanted to make sure they were just right...
So I could mess them up I guess...
I can never say sorry enough for the pain I have placed in their hearts.
I can never say sorry enought for the damage I have done.
I can't go back and change any of it..
I can go forward.
I can continue to love them
with my whole heart and soul
and do only my best to continue to make up for the time I have lost
and do only my best to teach them the importance of God, family and love
I just hope they want to go forward with me.
