Yeah, I know, I am not alone and I realize he is ONLY going to be an hour away... do you NOT understand that I have a right as a Mom to still be freaking out? My oldest son, my baby, my monkeybutt, the son that saved my life in more ways than he will ever know... yeah, that one, he is going away to college and TOMORROW is the day he moves in.
Like I said, I know he is not going far but I feel like somehow I am not done yet? I haven't completed my job. I think I was supposed to teach him so much more than I did before he leaves and now he is leaving and it's in less than 24 hours and I am totally nerovus and freaking out on the inside yet trying to stay calm and collected on the outside so he can't tell. I wonder if he can tell? Do you think he knows? I think I have been texting him 20 times a day for the last 2 weeks just checking to make sure he has random things... you know, like Kleenex for when he has a runny nose and enough socks to get him through until he comes home for me to do his laundry and is he going to have enough clean sheets and towels and is there anything else I can buy him that he needs because I am pretty sure that he needs more than he is taking because I feel like I am not taking good enough care of him if I am not right there.
Someone out there needs to tell me PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one the only Mom the only parent to ever freak out like this? My Dad is pretty certain that he never freaked out like this and since my Mom isn't here to ask.... heck, I don't think she freaked out when I left - I was the last of 4 kids though and I certainly don't have a clue what she was like before my brother left. I remember I wasn't exactly phased by it - after all I still had two sisters left at home to deal with so it didn't really matter? I just know, I mean, I know that he isn't gone forever. I know he will be home A LOT and that is a good thing because when he comes home I can smother him and cook for him and clean for him and do his laundry and whatever else he needs from me. But.... it's still, this is the first step of that whole he isn't my little monkey butt anymore...
He was sooo little. He was my little guy just yesterday I am so certain of it. I just had this little buddy that hung out with me when his Daddy was working or fishing... we would hang out, watch Scooby Doo all day and night long... we would eat pancakes for supper because that was all Mommy could cook back then! LOL We would laugh and dance and finger paint and play.... we would take long walks to Nana's house and then be tooo tired to walk back and so Nana would give us a ride home.... He was that little guy that helped his Daddy paint his duck hunting boat and couldn't wait to go hunting with him.... and now.... he is all grown up. And I know that his Dad and I we did out best and hope we taught him all the right things. He is a good kid.... He knows right from wrong and knows what it means to work hard.... I know I am damn proud of him....
I am just not so sure I am ready to let go.... not yet :(
