Another Year Gone By

Here I am, on the eve before my 32nd birthday, thinking about all that my children have taught me in the last year.

I have learned when your child plays tackle football, as a parent, you are on the edge of your seat every time they enter the game. A part of it is excitement hoping they do well to help their team, and the other part is fear that no one hurts your baby.

I have learned that when a child's teacher is expecting a baby the same time you are, that teacher will receive double the excitement and double the help as you - even though you are their mom.

I have learned that the child you least expect to be the cause behind a call from the principle's office for FIGHTING is the first one to expect after all.

I have learned that even though the bunny died months earlier, it is ok to cry and announce to everyone that you still miss your dead bunny.

I have learned that when a child loses someone special in their lives, that the pain of losing them is as fresh and real to them as it is to you many months down the road.

I have learned that according to an 8 year old, Texas is on the other side of the world.

I have learned that a rock can be the most beautiful discovery.

I have learned that when your brothers are in the room, your parent instantly becomes an invisible being.

I have learned that children will try really hard to make things come out of the noses of their brothers when they laugh.

I have learned that when you least expect your child to come through and help you, they are there, eager and willing to literally be your right hand.

I have learned that kids think it is fun to see what baby foods will get spit all the way across the room when the baby doesn't like them.

I have learned that only when their little brother is a baby will my older children ever fight over who gets to spend the most time with him.

I have learned that my 11 year old can hear me coming down the hall a lot better than my 8 year old when it's time for bed and they are still up talking.

I have learned that my children need to work on their whisper if they think they aren't going to get in trouble for talking in class from their teachers.

I have learned that when your child plays soccer, the first time they get hurt, that part of your body hurts too, only for a second, before your heart breaks when you see them in pain.

I have learned that nothing makes me smile more than coming home to a big "huggy" at the end of my day.

I have learned that I must be doing something right when I get a "Mommy, I just love you" at the end of my night before bed.

But most of all, I have learned that even when you have a bad night, there is nothing more precious then the feeling of love all of your children bring to your heart.

A Broken Heart

Today was a better day. I didn't have any last minute morning forgetful moments. I didn't have a 2 hour car drive into work when my work is 20 minutes away. In fact, I woke up to a happy baby at 6:00 a.m. and it just made me smile.

I left work on time today - on time being the time I need to leave in time to pick up my children and still get home on time to see Mark before he leaves for work. It was really just a good day.

I arrived at the babysitters to pick up my children and all of them were good today. Alex, Jacob and Kyle were not only good there, but they all had fun. What could be better?

I left the sitters house a little behind schedule. I talk too much so I have been told. It was going to be a tough race to make it home in time to see Mark before he left for work.

I pulled in the driveway as he was walking out the front door. He got to the car and Jacob began to cry. "Don't leave Daddy, Daddy, don't leave!"

Mark made it to the window to assure him that he would wait.

I got to Jacob's car door and he had tears rolling down his cheeks. "Mama," he said sadly,"I can't get out. I am stuck. I am going to miss Daddy. HURRY MAMA!"

I got him out of his seatbelt and he ran to Mark as if it would be the last time he would ever see him.

"Bye Dadda, I love you. I'm gonna miss you."

"Bye Buddy, I'll be home in the morning."

"Dadda?"

"Yes Buddy?"

"Um, Dadda? If you get sad and miss me, and if you cry, just come home, o.k Dadda?"

"O.k. Buddy."

He gave Mark one more last kiss and a "huggy" and then Mark set him down and got in the car. As the car began to pull out of the driveway, Jacob began to get sad and yelled after the car "DADDA! DADDA!"

Mark rolled down the window, "What Buddy?"

"Dadda? I am going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too Buddy" Mark said, "Don't be sad Buddy, Mama is home."

"I know," Jacob said with tears in his eyes, "but I think I am just going to miss you."

With that, Mark blew him a kiss and sent him a hug. Jacob did the same and then the car pulled out of the driveway.

Jacob looked up at me with his big brown tear-filled eyes, "Mama, can I have an icecream cone?"

"You bet Buddy" I replied.

Between you and me? In that moment he could have asked me for anything and I would have gotten it for him.

There is nothing worse than a broken heart, except the broken heart of one of your own children.

Monday Mayhem

There was no doubt - today was Monday.

I began my morning at 6:30 a.m. when Kyle decided it was time to be awake and start his day. He is always so happy in the morning though so it is difficult to be upset that I had another hour to sleep.

We played in bed though. He is so cozy in the morning. I'd tickle him and he'd laugh. Then he would grab my face and try to "kiss" me. It's so sweet.

Around 7:30, I rolled out of bed shortly after Kyle decided to fall back asleep - just my luck.

None of the boys were happy with having to get out of bed this morning. It must have been in the air. But irregardless, we all started our day.

I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. This is my normal routine. Mostly trying to get the diaper bag packed and getting the kids fed. I named off everything I needed to pack in the diaper bag, double checked my list, packed my lunch and sent the kids to the van. I then ran and grabbed my sleepy little Kyle, kissed Mark good-bye and out the door we went - it was 8:45 a.m.

Around 9:00 a.m. I made it to my first stop-Travis and Alex's Aunt's house. She watches them during the day. Sent them out the door and took off to my next stop.

Around 9:15 a.m. I made it to destination #2 - the babysitter's house. I quickly ran through the diaper bag with her - making sure everything was there. I mentioned Kyle's new eating schedule etc... then it hit me. I had forgotten to pack Kyle's milk! UGH! This meant a 15-20 minute trot back to my house to pick up his milk and then a 15-20 minute trot back to her house! I didn't need this. But Kyle needs to eat.

After running to the pharmacy (saving the babysitter a trip since I was going back through town anyway) I made it to the road my house is on at approximately 9:45 a.m. What is this? Road closed signs on my street? How ridiculous. I live on a little country road they never fix - heck they hardly ever plow - what do they want now? I figure I can get through - after all they can't block the people that live there from their homes, right? WRONG. I had to turn around and go around the block (5 miles around the block) and enter my road from the other side. UGH!

9:55 a.m. I leave my driveway - again.

I arrive BACK at the babysitter's house at approximately 10:10 a.m. with milk in hand. Then back to the car I go.

Stop #3 finds me at a customer's home. I have to drop off the company "loaner" car I had been driving all morning and pick up her vehicle for work. I arrive there at 10:20 a.m. and back on the road in no time at all. PHEW! What a morning. It can only get better from here.

The time clock clicks 10:50 a.m. as I punch in - 2 HOURS after I left my house the first time - what the heck! Oh well. Two seconds later the phone rings - it's the babysitter - I forgot to pack Kyle's bottles to drink the milk I ran back to get! I give up.

She's a great sitter and tells me that she will see if he will drink milk from his cup today (we are trying this "cup-thing" for a week or so now) if not, she thinks she has a bottle that maybe he'll use though it isn't the same kind as his. I tell her that I will see if I can reach my father to run some bottles out to her - just in case.

More worries? Yes. I try calling my Dad, his line is busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. Now, I begin to worry. 2 1/2 hours later when it still busy - I am in a state of panic. My Dad is never on the phone that long, besides that, I think he has call waiting - I shouldn't be getting a busy signal unless something is wrong. My nerves get the best of me and I start thinking all kinds of horrible things. So I call the next door neighbor. She calls back about 20 minutes later to tell me that his phone was off the hook and he's not even home. PHEW! O.k. - my heart begins to rest. But what about Kyle's bottles?

I call the sitter - he's taking her bottle and everything is o.k.

The Lord is so good. Through my chaos, He made sure that my baby would be o.k.

4:00 p.m it's time to leave work early today as the sitter had to be someplace too. I reach in my purse to get out the keys to MY car that I haven't driven since Friday (I had to take home that "loaner" vehicle for the customer, remember?) Wouldn't you know? I forgot to bring my keys to work! I had to borrow another "loaner" vehicle from my boss to get home! UGH! it continues!

I get in the van that he loaned me and look down - the gas tank? EMPTY! So now that I am running late - I need to stop for gas. No big deal, this should only take a minute and it did. Back on the road - thankful to be heading home.

I arrive at the babysitters house at 4:45 p.m. - right on time. The kids were good - everything is o.k - load them up and off to pick-up the older boys.

I arrive at their Aunt's house at 5:20 p.m. Unload Jacob and Kyle so I can quick talk to her. She mentions she has some clothes for me for Jacob - this is good news as he is always in need! We go through them, pick out some nice things and pile them up in the back of the van I am driving, after which, we pile the kids in too!

Finally, homeward bound.

6:00 p.m I pull into the driveway. I climb out of the van, open the door for the kids to pile out and remind Travis and Alex I will need their help bringing in the clothes. I open the back of the van just in time to be sprayed with sprinkler. The sprinkler? Yes, the sprinkler is on the grass right next to the van - Jacob thought it would be funny to turn it on and spray "his brothers!" Instead, he got me and ALL THE CLOTHES in the back of the van! Will today ever end?

Into the house to wake Mark up for work. Pack his lunch, kiss him good-bye and turn back to the house of screaming children.

After a quick visit by my Dad, the kids and I sit down to eat dinner. During dinner, Jacob starts acting silly. I can't even tell you what he was doing, because I really don't know. I do know that it made the boys laugh so hard they were afraid the food they were eating was going to come out of their noses! Kyle was in his high chair laughing and spitting out his peas. Jacob continued his entertainment. Finally, all I could do was laugh and laugh.

Monday mayhem? Yes. But tomorrow is another day and if I had missed today and all the messes that surrounded me, would I have had the moment of silliness at dinner and the chance to laugh with my children? I don't know, and that is something I wouldn't ever want to give up.

Big Brother Entertainment

Just yesterday I wondered what it might be like to have a NORMAL 4 year old. I guess I forgot what they talk like and what they talk about... hmmm...

My four year old? Well, he's another story. Typical he is not. I think he has learned all of his latest phrases from his brothers, and maybe from Playstation too.

We were on our way home from picking up his older brother yesterday, when Jacob belts out from the van "Go Travy, it's your birthday, Go Travy". In his next breath,I hear him tell Travis all about playing "Harry Potter" with the babysitter. He told him that Alex beat her playing chess and it was "sweet". Then he continued with how he beat her as well and then began to chant "Who's good? Me good. Who's good?" Hmmm... is that what normal 4 year olds talk about? Then again, I guess I am not sure what a normal 4 year old is, but I think they are probably not running around saying "Let's get this party started".

I have just concluded that he learns these things by watching and copying his older brothers. After all, he really looks up to them. Along with all his "clean" entertaining phrases, he occasionally slips in a naughty word - then I know his brothers are teaching more than I would like him to learn.

Jacob is not the only one learning new and entertaining things from his older brothers. Tonight, I was trying to clean up dinner and Kyle was in his high chair. He grows bored with his high chair at a pretty fast pace. At times like this, it's nice to have big brothers around.

Travis was on the entertainment list for the night. He began to do a funny dance for Kyle. Dancing around the kitchen, talking like a baby. Kyle laughed. Travis laughed. I laughed too. I think I laughed more when I thought of how entertaining that would have been to capture on video and play for him when he's 25 and brings home a girlfriend. (Yes, I did say 25, I decided my children won't be dating before then! :)

I am amazed with my boys though. Travis provides entertainment for Kyle on a daily basis. He likes to sing and dance and talk to him. He'll even play hide and seek which Kyle just loves. Alex is Jacob's entertainment. He plays playstation with him and Harry Potter. They will go outside and pretend to play Pokemon for hours. For Alex and Jacob though, their best form of entertainment is still a good old fashioned fight.

I walk into a room and all I see is Jacob sitting on Alex's head and Alex's feet kicking out from under him. There is screaming, crying and a lot of complaining. In the end, there are no broken bones, no blood and no need for hospital visits. I have learned though, that too will come.

So whether the older boys enjoy providing entertainment for the younger ones, I don't really know. But there is one thing I am sure of, the younger ones love the entertainment the older ones provide. And as Jacob would say, "it's too sweet".

By Two's

It's been about two weeks since I have had time to write.

It's been about two weeks since I have gotten a good night of sleep.

It's been about two week's since I have had a chance to play my nightly game of Clue with my children.

Two weeks since I have mowed the lawn.

Two weeks since I have trimmed the weeds.

Two weeks since I have successfully completed all my laundry.

Two weeks ago Kyle started teething.

Tonight, I was home for two minutes before he smiled at me.

A beautiful smile with two teeth!