If there is anything that can make me sad, it is to hear my little boy(s) tell me that they just miss me and want me to come home.
I receive a phone call at work today from Jacob, "Mama, I just want you to know I miss you," he says very sad-like.
"I miss you too" I tell him.
"I just want you to come home."
"I know baby, Mama will try to be really quick and get out of work as soon as I can" I tell him.
Mark gets on the phone, "He just wants you today. He doesn't feel good and he doesn't want anything or anyone but you."
This breaks my heart. I just wish I could be there. But I can't. It makes me want to cry.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Saturday, December 18, 2004
First Steps
For the last few days, Mark has been trying to show me that Kyle can walk. He tells me that during the day, he takes a few steps here and there all the time. However, as soon as I come home, this walking stops.
Tonight, he did it.
Kyle took 3 steps towards me and then a big dive.
It was sweet.
I cried, just a little.
My baby is getting bigger and bigger - step by step.
Tonight, he did it.
Kyle took 3 steps towards me and then a big dive.
It was sweet.
I cried, just a little.
My baby is getting bigger and bigger - step by step.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
The Middle of the Night
It's funny, I think it was a week ago now, but I haven't the time I used to have to tell the tales of my funny son, Jacob's perspective of an early morning.
Last week Friday morning, somewhere around 5 o'clock a.m., Jacob ran down the hall and climbed up into bed with Mark and I.
"Dada!" he yelled, waking up Mark.
"Dada, please get me some juice."
Mark grumbled a bit, but got up and got Jacob a cup of something to drink.
Both Mark and myself rolled back over, assuming that Jacob would soon drift back off to sleep as he usually does.
6 o'clock a.m. - my alarm clock goes off - (my alarm clock being Kyle). He is awake for his morning feeding. I sit up in bed to nurse him and who is laying next to me, twiddling his thumbs, watching the weather, WIDE AWAKE, but Jacob.
"Hi Mama" he smiles.
"Hi Silly" I smile back, "what are you doing?"
"Watching the news" he says.
I laugh. Feed Kyle and climb out of bed to wake up the older two boys for school. The bus comes to our house at 7 o'clock a.m. so it's early mornings for us.
I was in the kitchen with the boys, getting them breakfast, when all of a sudden I hear this little voice say, "Mama? What the heck. Why are my brothers eating breakfast in the middle of the night?"
I laugh. I look out the windows and it is in fact very dark at this time of the morning.
"Buddy, it's not the middle of the night," I tell him.
"Yes it is."
"O.k."
"Mama?"
"Yes?"
"Can I eat breakfast in the middle of the night too?" he asks me very slyly.
"I think that would be o.k" I tell him.
Jacob joins Travis and Alex at the table and you could just see by the look on his face that he thought he was getting away with something that wasn't right. It was so cute.
A few minutes later, it was time for Travis and Alex to leave for school. Afterwards, Jacob asked me, "Mama, would it be o.k if you and I snuggled on the couch and watched cartoonies in the middle of the night too?"
"Yes," I said.
"Really?" he asked.
"Mmm... I think so" I agreed, knowing I could use a little quiet time myself.
"That makes me so happy," Jacob smiled.
After we watched a few cartoonies, I needed to get up and get ready for work. But before I left for work, Jacob leaned over, gave me a kiss and a big hug and said, "Mama, tomorrow, do you think you and I could snuggle and watch cartoonies in the middle of the night again?"
I just smiled at him.
"You got it buddy" I told him.
"Goodie!" he said, "Because, Mama, I sure like the middle of the night with you."
Last week Friday morning, somewhere around 5 o'clock a.m., Jacob ran down the hall and climbed up into bed with Mark and I.
"Dada!" he yelled, waking up Mark.
"Dada, please get me some juice."
Mark grumbled a bit, but got up and got Jacob a cup of something to drink.
Both Mark and myself rolled back over, assuming that Jacob would soon drift back off to sleep as he usually does.
6 o'clock a.m. - my alarm clock goes off - (my alarm clock being Kyle). He is awake for his morning feeding. I sit up in bed to nurse him and who is laying next to me, twiddling his thumbs, watching the weather, WIDE AWAKE, but Jacob.
"Hi Mama" he smiles.
"Hi Silly" I smile back, "what are you doing?"
"Watching the news" he says.
I laugh. Feed Kyle and climb out of bed to wake up the older two boys for school. The bus comes to our house at 7 o'clock a.m. so it's early mornings for us.
I was in the kitchen with the boys, getting them breakfast, when all of a sudden I hear this little voice say, "Mama? What the heck. Why are my brothers eating breakfast in the middle of the night?"
I laugh. I look out the windows and it is in fact very dark at this time of the morning.
"Buddy, it's not the middle of the night," I tell him.
"Yes it is."
"O.k."
"Mama?"
"Yes?"
"Can I eat breakfast in the middle of the night too?" he asks me very slyly.
"I think that would be o.k" I tell him.
Jacob joins Travis and Alex at the table and you could just see by the look on his face that he thought he was getting away with something that wasn't right. It was so cute.
A few minutes later, it was time for Travis and Alex to leave for school. Afterwards, Jacob asked me, "Mama, would it be o.k if you and I snuggled on the couch and watched cartoonies in the middle of the night too?"
"Yes," I said.
"Really?" he asked.
"Mmm... I think so" I agreed, knowing I could use a little quiet time myself.
"That makes me so happy," Jacob smiled.
After we watched a few cartoonies, I needed to get up and get ready for work. But before I left for work, Jacob leaned over, gave me a kiss and a big hug and said, "Mama, tomorrow, do you think you and I could snuggle and watch cartoonies in the middle of the night again?"
I just smiled at him.
"You got it buddy" I told him.
"Goodie!" he said, "Because, Mama, I sure like the middle of the night with you."
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Two of Them, Actually
It all started Saturday night with the arrival of Mark's step-mom Betsy and his little sister Emily. A side of our family that we don't get to see so much of as they live quite far away.
Jacob's little eyes got real big and then he ran and hid. He is pretty shy around new people and even more shy around girls. He didn't want them to look at him. He felt mostly safe by Daddy.
After a few hours, Mark and Jacob went outside for a few minutes and chatted a little about Betsy. When they came in, Mark informed us that Jacob had asked him "Daddy, you mean I have TWO grandmas here?"
This was a very sweet thing to hear. After all, since the death of both Mark's and my mother, Jacob has always known that he only had one Grandma - Mama Co. So to him, knowing about Betsy - who is Mark's step-mom and being able to call her Grandma, Jacob was very excited. What was even nicer was that Betsy told him he could call her "grandma" any time he wanted to.
Not much more was said about the "grandma-thing" for the night or the next day. We all said our good-byes and headed our own directions. We probably won't see Betsy again for another year or so as they live so far away.
That night, we finally reached home and went to pick up Jacob's brothers, Travis and Alex.
It took about a minute for Alex to be in the back seat by Jacob before Jacob proudly announced his exciting news to his brother.
"Guess what Alex?"
"What?"
"Guess what I got?"
"Did you get another new toy or something while we were gone at our Dad's?" Alex asked.
"Nope."
"Then what?" Alex asked.
"I got another Grandma" he said.
I smiled from the front seat hearing him say this to Alex.
"You mean Mama Co?" Alex asked.
"No" Jacob said.
"Mama, what's her name?" he asked me.
"Betsy" I reminded him.
"Oh yeah, Betsy" he said to Alex.
"So Jacob has a Grandma?" Alex asked me, knowing that Grandma Jo is really his great-grandma and that the boys have always talked about Jacob not having a Grandma. (This is a sad conversation in our house, but one the boys like to talk about periodically).
"Yes" I said.
To which Jacob responded, "Two of them, actually."
He was so proud.
I was proud for him.
Jacob's little eyes got real big and then he ran and hid. He is pretty shy around new people and even more shy around girls. He didn't want them to look at him. He felt mostly safe by Daddy.
After a few hours, Mark and Jacob went outside for a few minutes and chatted a little about Betsy. When they came in, Mark informed us that Jacob had asked him "Daddy, you mean I have TWO grandmas here?"
This was a very sweet thing to hear. After all, since the death of both Mark's and my mother, Jacob has always known that he only had one Grandma - Mama Co. So to him, knowing about Betsy - who is Mark's step-mom and being able to call her Grandma, Jacob was very excited. What was even nicer was that Betsy told him he could call her "grandma" any time he wanted to.
Not much more was said about the "grandma-thing" for the night or the next day. We all said our good-byes and headed our own directions. We probably won't see Betsy again for another year or so as they live so far away.
That night, we finally reached home and went to pick up Jacob's brothers, Travis and Alex.
It took about a minute for Alex to be in the back seat by Jacob before Jacob proudly announced his exciting news to his brother.
"Guess what Alex?"
"What?"
"Guess what I got?"
"Did you get another new toy or something while we were gone at our Dad's?" Alex asked.
"Nope."
"Then what?" Alex asked.
"I got another Grandma" he said.
I smiled from the front seat hearing him say this to Alex.
"You mean Mama Co?" Alex asked.
"No" Jacob said.
"Mama, what's her name?" he asked me.
"Betsy" I reminded him.
"Oh yeah, Betsy" he said to Alex.
"So Jacob has a Grandma?" Alex asked me, knowing that Grandma Jo is really his great-grandma and that the boys have always talked about Jacob not having a Grandma. (This is a sad conversation in our house, but one the boys like to talk about periodically).
"Yes" I said.
To which Jacob responded, "Two of them, actually."
He was so proud.
I was proud for him.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
2 Teeth, 5 Shots and a New Doc
So they finally arrived - Kyle's teeth.
Yesterday morning, we woke up late (as usual) and as I was getting ready for work, I heard Mark yell from the other room, "They're in!"
"What are in?" I yell back from across the house, wondering what in the world has him yelling like that at 8 a.m. and who the heck was in where?
"Kyle's teeth! They're in!" he yells again.
At this point, I must go see. I have been talking to these teeth for over a month now, begging and pleading with them to appear, if they are in, I have to see.
"Sure enough" I say with pure amazement.
I guess the average parent who has been through the teething thing might think we were crazy getting excited over such a silly thing, but let me tell you, this is BIG news in our house!
So the crabbiness is finally going to end...
or is it?
"Today is Tuesday, isn't it?" I ask.
"I do believe so" Mark answers.
"Crud."
"Why?"
"Today is Kyle's doctor's appointment with our new doctor... he's getting caught up on his shots." I inform Mark.
"How many?" he asks.
"I think maybe 4" I respond.
"Have fun!" he says with a laugh, knowing good and well he will be making that trip with me.
A few hours later, I was home from work and we were headed to the doctor's office. I was a little nervous about the whole thing. See, we actually found one of those family doctors you just wouldn't want to trade for the world, so the fact that we had to give him up just broke my heart. But I reminded myself that MAYBE this doctor would be o.k. too and that I should just keep an open mind.
After checking in, a very friendly nurse came to greet us. I guess I don't really recall her name, but she seemed nice enough. We got things started and then it was time to meet our new doctor.
He knocked on the door first.
"Come in" Jacob yells.
"Why thank you little man" he says with a smile.
O.k. so he seems o.k. First impressions are important you know.
After the normal check-up, he lets us know that because Kyle had fallen behind a little bit on his shots, he would be getting 5, NOT 4, but 5 shots tonight.
"Wow" I said.
"I guess we should just get them done" Mark says.
Easy for him to say, he doesn't have to hold him down while the nurse gives them to him.
"O.k." I agree.
In comes the nurse.
Let the crying begin.
5 shots later, we are on our way home.
Kyle?
He cried a lot, but fell asleep on the way home.
I guess it would be just my luck that he finally gets his teeth so the crabbiness can stop and then the shots begin so the crabbiness can continue for a day or two.
The doctor?
I guess he was o.k. but I had this terrible feeling the entire time we were there. It was almost as if we were cheating on our favorite family doctor. I guess in time, I will get over it. But in the meantime, we sure are going to miss him.
"Mama," Jacob asks on the way home, "Now we go to see Dr. Lewis?"
"No baby," I sigh, "Not tonight."
"I miss him" he says.
"Me too."
Yesterday morning, we woke up late (as usual) and as I was getting ready for work, I heard Mark yell from the other room, "They're in!"
"What are in?" I yell back from across the house, wondering what in the world has him yelling like that at 8 a.m. and who the heck was in where?
"Kyle's teeth! They're in!" he yells again.
At this point, I must go see. I have been talking to these teeth for over a month now, begging and pleading with them to appear, if they are in, I have to see.
"Sure enough" I say with pure amazement.
I guess the average parent who has been through the teething thing might think we were crazy getting excited over such a silly thing, but let me tell you, this is BIG news in our house!
So the crabbiness is finally going to end...
or is it?
"Today is Tuesday, isn't it?" I ask.
"I do believe so" Mark answers.
"Crud."
"Why?"
"Today is Kyle's doctor's appointment with our new doctor... he's getting caught up on his shots." I inform Mark.
"How many?" he asks.
"I think maybe 4" I respond.
"Have fun!" he says with a laugh, knowing good and well he will be making that trip with me.
A few hours later, I was home from work and we were headed to the doctor's office. I was a little nervous about the whole thing. See, we actually found one of those family doctors you just wouldn't want to trade for the world, so the fact that we had to give him up just broke my heart. But I reminded myself that MAYBE this doctor would be o.k. too and that I should just keep an open mind.
After checking in, a very friendly nurse came to greet us. I guess I don't really recall her name, but she seemed nice enough. We got things started and then it was time to meet our new doctor.
He knocked on the door first.
"Come in" Jacob yells.
"Why thank you little man" he says with a smile.
O.k. so he seems o.k. First impressions are important you know.
After the normal check-up, he lets us know that because Kyle had fallen behind a little bit on his shots, he would be getting 5, NOT 4, but 5 shots tonight.
"Wow" I said.
"I guess we should just get them done" Mark says.
Easy for him to say, he doesn't have to hold him down while the nurse gives them to him.
"O.k." I agree.
In comes the nurse.
Let the crying begin.
5 shots later, we are on our way home.
Kyle?
He cried a lot, but fell asleep on the way home.
I guess it would be just my luck that he finally gets his teeth so the crabbiness can stop and then the shots begin so the crabbiness can continue for a day or two.
The doctor?
I guess he was o.k. but I had this terrible feeling the entire time we were there. It was almost as if we were cheating on our favorite family doctor. I guess in time, I will get over it. But in the meantime, we sure are going to miss him.
"Mama," Jacob asks on the way home, "Now we go to see Dr. Lewis?"
"No baby," I sigh, "Not tonight."
"I miss him" he says.
"Me too."
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
My Teething Prayer
As I picked my children up from the babysitter's house tonight and began my 7 minute journey home, I decided that children should get all of their teeth at once. Enough of this teething garbage - over and over and over again.
Tonight, once again, Kyle displayed all the signs of the unhappy teether. The happiness, followed by sudden screams of terror, and the gnawing and drooling.
The thing is, these stupid teeth have been right there, RIGHT THERE, for 3 weeks now!!! It's like they are teasing me. They are deliberately hanging out just below the gum line to see how long it takes before I pull out all my hair and go crazy. At that point, they will pop out. So I have already gone crazy and Kyle is working on my hair so it shouldn't be long.
I have learned in the last few years of my life that prayer is the most wonderful thing you can do in your life. In fact, you should do it every day whether you need something from God or not. I have found that in the last few years, God doesn't only know my name, but He knows the sound of my voice. He knows the tones of my voice. He knows when I am in need or when I just want to chit-chat. Tonight, before I go to sleep, I have already constructed my prayer to God. It goes a little something like this:
Dear Father God,
I realize that it is too late to change things in the life of my child Kyle, but in the future, I think it would be a most beneficial thing to other parents if you would just allow their children to cut all of their teeth in at the same time. One night of crying and then "Presto" make all of their teeth appear....
And since it is too late to do that for Kyle, Father, I ask you to please, please, please, please, please, please, please let these two stupid teeth come in tomorrow...
Once again, thank you.
P.S. then the next day, can you make the rest appear?
Tonight, once again, Kyle displayed all the signs of the unhappy teether. The happiness, followed by sudden screams of terror, and the gnawing and drooling.
The thing is, these stupid teeth have been right there, RIGHT THERE, for 3 weeks now!!! It's like they are teasing me. They are deliberately hanging out just below the gum line to see how long it takes before I pull out all my hair and go crazy. At that point, they will pop out. So I have already gone crazy and Kyle is working on my hair so it shouldn't be long.
I have learned in the last few years of my life that prayer is the most wonderful thing you can do in your life. In fact, you should do it every day whether you need something from God or not. I have found that in the last few years, God doesn't only know my name, but He knows the sound of my voice. He knows the tones of my voice. He knows when I am in need or when I just want to chit-chat. Tonight, before I go to sleep, I have already constructed my prayer to God. It goes a little something like this:
Dear Father God,
I realize that it is too late to change things in the life of my child Kyle, but in the future, I think it would be a most beneficial thing to other parents if you would just allow their children to cut all of their teeth in at the same time. One night of crying and then "Presto" make all of their teeth appear....
And since it is too late to do that for Kyle, Father, I ask you to please, please, please, please, please, please, please let these two stupid teeth come in tomorrow...
Once again, thank you.
P.S. then the next day, can you make the rest appear?
Saturday, October 23, 2004
At Long Last...
The Mitchell Park Domes, a trip to Illinois, and some much needed R&R!
This is how I spent my last week with my children...
Alex (my 8 year old) has his class field trip to the Metro Park Domes in Milwaukee. I chaperoned this year as I had recalled enjoying this field trip myself when I was little. It was a nice day. Alex and I butt heads a lot since we are so much alike, but that particular day was so nice for us. We joked around, smiled, laughed, and really enjoyed having the company of one another. I learned a lot about him that day - including that when I pack him lunch, he eats the dessert first. HOWEVER when I am there, then he has to eat it last!
Wednesday, Mark and I got up early and packed up to head to Illinois with Jacob and Kyle. We spent a few days at Mark's grandparents home in Oak Forest. I think the fun part of this trip is Jacob's pure excitement. The entire way down there he spoke of the fun things he was planning on doig when we got there.
"First, I am going to go down the bumpy stairs, then I am going to dance with Papa. Maybe I am going to teach him my bowling dance" he said with so much excitement that I thought his face was going to fall off!
The visit was very fun for him. He spent most of the time playing UNO cards with Grandpa. Sorting the deck and then pretending to attack Grandpa's cards, taking all of them. They laughed and laughed. It's so sweet to see this.
Jacob even made a new little friend while we were there. A little boy named Ryan who stays with his grandmother sometimes. They played sidewalk chalk and Spiderman. I even traced the two of them in the driveway with chalk so they could see how big they were and then they color themselves in. He really enjoyed him. In fact, the two of them played so well together, Jacob cried when it was time to come in and have dinner because then Ryan had to go home.
Kyle was another story. He was into everything. Standing by the tables, desk, chairs - Mark and I spent more time chasing him around picking everything up before he could wreck it! He was funny and I think Grandpa and Grandma really enjoyed him as well.
Our trip home was long as we hit Friday afternoon traffic leaving Chicago. I am so glad I don't live there! We sidetracked a little as we went to visit Papa Wayne for a bit. Jacob must have asked "How much longer?" about 1,000 times! But at long last, we were home.
Now, it's just laundry and time to clean and to deal with the dog who missed us all terribly.
It's nice to get a vacation once in a while, but it really stinks to know that come Monday, it's all over for another year!
This is how I spent my last week with my children...
Alex (my 8 year old) has his class field trip to the Metro Park Domes in Milwaukee. I chaperoned this year as I had recalled enjoying this field trip myself when I was little. It was a nice day. Alex and I butt heads a lot since we are so much alike, but that particular day was so nice for us. We joked around, smiled, laughed, and really enjoyed having the company of one another. I learned a lot about him that day - including that when I pack him lunch, he eats the dessert first. HOWEVER when I am there, then he has to eat it last!
Wednesday, Mark and I got up early and packed up to head to Illinois with Jacob and Kyle. We spent a few days at Mark's grandparents home in Oak Forest. I think the fun part of this trip is Jacob's pure excitement. The entire way down there he spoke of the fun things he was planning on doig when we got there.
"First, I am going to go down the bumpy stairs, then I am going to dance with Papa. Maybe I am going to teach him my bowling dance" he said with so much excitement that I thought his face was going to fall off!
The visit was very fun for him. He spent most of the time playing UNO cards with Grandpa. Sorting the deck and then pretending to attack Grandpa's cards, taking all of them. They laughed and laughed. It's so sweet to see this.
Jacob even made a new little friend while we were there. A little boy named Ryan who stays with his grandmother sometimes. They played sidewalk chalk and Spiderman. I even traced the two of them in the driveway with chalk so they could see how big they were and then they color themselves in. He really enjoyed him. In fact, the two of them played so well together, Jacob cried when it was time to come in and have dinner because then Ryan had to go home.
Kyle was another story. He was into everything. Standing by the tables, desk, chairs - Mark and I spent more time chasing him around picking everything up before he could wreck it! He was funny and I think Grandpa and Grandma really enjoyed him as well.
Our trip home was long as we hit Friday afternoon traffic leaving Chicago. I am so glad I don't live there! We sidetracked a little as we went to visit Papa Wayne for a bit. Jacob must have asked "How much longer?" about 1,000 times! But at long last, we were home.
Now, it's just laundry and time to clean and to deal with the dog who missed us all terribly.
It's nice to get a vacation once in a while, but it really stinks to know that come Monday, it's all over for another year!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
When I Grow Up
Latest topic of conversation at my house? What do you want to be when you grow up?
Travis, my 11 year old, says he doesn't know. He thinks maybe he'd like to be a football player. Or maybe a professional Golfer. Both of which would help me retire well... ha!ha!ha!
Alex, my 8 year old, has always loved animals. He has persistently told me he would like to be a veternarian, or a zoo-ologist (I obviously can't spell) or maybe just an animal trainer, but he knows - animals. All of these things I think would be fascinating.
Jacob, my 4 year old, the one I think should be someplace in the entertainment business, has decided for him it will be an artist. He discovered the other day that artists get paid for coloring pictures and since that is his FAVORITE thing to do - he is pretty certain he would be good at that. In fact, he asked me "Mommy, do people really pay money for pictures I color with my crayons and markers?"
"Well, kind of" I told him.
"That's so sweet" he said, "How easy that will be, cuz I'm good."
He is good. As good as a 4 year old can be I suppose. He is learning how to stay in the lines when he colors in a coloring book, but his favorites are things like houses and people. I find his drawing adorable... but I am his mom, and I don't have to pay for them.
Travis, my 11 year old, says he doesn't know. He thinks maybe he'd like to be a football player. Or maybe a professional Golfer. Both of which would help me retire well... ha!ha!ha!
Alex, my 8 year old, has always loved animals. He has persistently told me he would like to be a veternarian, or a zoo-ologist (I obviously can't spell) or maybe just an animal trainer, but he knows - animals. All of these things I think would be fascinating.
Jacob, my 4 year old, the one I think should be someplace in the entertainment business, has decided for him it will be an artist. He discovered the other day that artists get paid for coloring pictures and since that is his FAVORITE thing to do - he is pretty certain he would be good at that. In fact, he asked me "Mommy, do people really pay money for pictures I color with my crayons and markers?"
"Well, kind of" I told him.
"That's so sweet" he said, "How easy that will be, cuz I'm good."
He is good. As good as a 4 year old can be I suppose. He is learning how to stay in the lines when he colors in a coloring book, but his favorites are things like houses and people. I find his drawing adorable... but I am his mom, and I don't have to pay for them.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Whew! I'm Old!
"Mom, Mom, can we do this please!!! ??" Alex begs as he comes home from school one day.
"Do what?" I ask.
"A 1/2 mile run for Audubon Days?"
"Sure, I wouldn't see why not."
"Will you walk with us?"
"What? I thought you said it's a half mile run?" I ask with a tone of confusion.
"It is, but you can walk too. Won't that be fun, Mom?"
Fun? Fun? Does this child realize how out of shape I am? I do realize that it ISN'T running for me - but I can hardly walk a half mile up the road to my neighbors, let alone 2 MILES! Ugh!
"Sure honey" I agree, "I'll walk."
What? What did I just agree to? I am crazy!
This was a week ago.
Today, is day two after this walk and I am still sore! I have managed to learn one extremely valuable lesson from this whole mess - no matter how cute your children are when they beg - THINK before you agree!
This started on Saturday morning. I wake Jacob and Kyle up early to take them with me. Oh, did I forget to mention that I would also be PUSHING a double stroller while I struggle to make it 2 miles? Yes, I am crazy.
We get up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8:15 a.m. This in itself is quite the record at my house. We get in the van and Jacob wants to say one last good-bye to Daddy, so I need to roll down my window.
"Good Bye Daddy!" he yells and is quite happy now.
The problem? My window won't go back up. The second problem? It's 34 degrees out!!
The 7 mile drive into town that morning was enough to make me want to crawl back in bed under a blanket! But, we arrived to pick up Travis and Alex and head to the park.
We get to the park, register and away we go. (Alex stayed behind as the half mile run was an hour later).
The first part of the walk didn't seem too bad. We walked down Main Street - pretty simple. Travis kept me company and we talked. I thought, "this is nice - a nice walk with my children on a beautiful Saturday morning". Then we turned the corner, and we turned the corner again...
a hill
a steep hill
with a stroller
a double stroller
UGH!!!
Now I needed help. I was dying. I never thought I would make it up that hill. Travis even had to help me push a little so I could catch my breath! Wow! I am old and out of shape but this will be over soon, right?
WRONG!
We venture around a corner, down a steep hill, around another corner and then...
in front of me....
a sign...
"1 MILE MARK"
"What the hell is that?" I ask my 11 year old.
"MoM!" he says.
I can't possibly make it another mile!
Meanwhile he is skipping around!!!
So I put on a smile and push and push that stupid heavy stroller and finally 22 minutes later (a total of like 45 minutes since the start of the race) I cross that finish line...
Travis?
Yep, he ran across that finish line and was still ready for his 1/2 mile run in only 15 minutes!
Old?
Yes... that's me!
"Do what?" I ask.
"A 1/2 mile run for Audubon Days?"
"Sure, I wouldn't see why not."
"Will you walk with us?"
"What? I thought you said it's a half mile run?" I ask with a tone of confusion.
"It is, but you can walk too. Won't that be fun, Mom?"
Fun? Fun? Does this child realize how out of shape I am? I do realize that it ISN'T running for me - but I can hardly walk a half mile up the road to my neighbors, let alone 2 MILES! Ugh!
"Sure honey" I agree, "I'll walk."
What? What did I just agree to? I am crazy!
This was a week ago.
Today, is day two after this walk and I am still sore! I have managed to learn one extremely valuable lesson from this whole mess - no matter how cute your children are when they beg - THINK before you agree!
This started on Saturday morning. I wake Jacob and Kyle up early to take them with me. Oh, did I forget to mention that I would also be PUSHING a double stroller while I struggle to make it 2 miles? Yes, I am crazy.
We get up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8:15 a.m. This in itself is quite the record at my house. We get in the van and Jacob wants to say one last good-bye to Daddy, so I need to roll down my window.
"Good Bye Daddy!" he yells and is quite happy now.
The problem? My window won't go back up. The second problem? It's 34 degrees out!!
The 7 mile drive into town that morning was enough to make me want to crawl back in bed under a blanket! But, we arrived to pick up Travis and Alex and head to the park.
We get to the park, register and away we go. (Alex stayed behind as the half mile run was an hour later).
The first part of the walk didn't seem too bad. We walked down Main Street - pretty simple. Travis kept me company and we talked. I thought, "this is nice - a nice walk with my children on a beautiful Saturday morning". Then we turned the corner, and we turned the corner again...
a hill
a steep hill
with a stroller
a double stroller
UGH!!!
Now I needed help. I was dying. I never thought I would make it up that hill. Travis even had to help me push a little so I could catch my breath! Wow! I am old and out of shape but this will be over soon, right?
WRONG!
We venture around a corner, down a steep hill, around another corner and then...
in front of me....
a sign...
"1 MILE MARK"
"What the hell is that?" I ask my 11 year old.
"MoM!" he says.
I can't possibly make it another mile!
Meanwhile he is skipping around!!!
So I put on a smile and push and push that stupid heavy stroller and finally 22 minutes later (a total of like 45 minutes since the start of the race) I cross that finish line...
Travis?
Yep, he ran across that finish line and was still ready for his 1/2 mile run in only 15 minutes!
Old?
Yes... that's me!
Sunday, September 19, 2004
A "Bear"-y Special Day
Today was a day our family has been waiting for since the NFL schedule was posted - the big Bear/Packer rivalry game. Travis and Alex are Packer fans as they have grown up in Wisconsin and have learned that is what they should be. Mark, born and raised in Illinois - a Bear fan in the truest form. Me? Well, my heart belongs to the Broncos, but I have adopted the Bears as my team. I have learned it is kind of fun to be a Bear fan in the middle of Packerland!
The morning started with Travis at breakfast, "So mom, are you ready to watch the Bears get crushed today?"
"Oh young son, how you are wrong," I inform him, "the Bears are going to win today."
I said this with a laugh, as I know, the Bears ALWAYS lose.
Game time, I have company so Travis begins watching the game without me. It took no time at all for the Packer's to get on the scoreboard, and no time at all for Travis to inform me.
"The Bears are already losing Mom" he yells from the next room.
I run to see, 3-0. Not too bad, I anticipate this only to get worse.
The room is quiet for quite a while and so I check in to see what is going on. I notice the score, 10-3.
"Hey," I say to Travis, "how is it you can inform me when the Packers score, but you say nothing that the Bears are WINNING?"
He gives me a look.
I laugh.
My company left and I joined him in the living room to watch what turned out to be a very disappointing game for him. I bugged him throughout the game, with each turnover, penalty and Brett Favre interception... he gave me look after look after look. We really had fun.
At the end of the game, I even sang him a little song (to the tune of Happy Birthday)
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Very funny" he says to me when I am finished.
"Kyle thought so" I say with a smile as Kyle is smiling right back at me.
I asked him if he was glad to spend the afternoon with his mom for once and enjoy such a good game.
"I guess" he says, "but it would have been nicer if the Packers would've won.
"Maybe" I said.
"Will you play chess with me?" he asks.
I agree and we set the board up to play. 10 minutes later, I win.
"Hey Buddy, guess what? Not only are you having a sad Packer day, but you are having a sad chess day too!" I say with a smile, as I NEVER win when Travis and I play chess.
I agree to one more game and he wins. He looks at me and smiles then says, "At least someone right is winning around here today."
I smile.
You know, there is something about spending an afternoon watching a football game with your kids. It is almost like for those few hours you are on the same page and thinking the same thoughts.
Today, truly was a "Bear-y" special day.
The morning started with Travis at breakfast, "So mom, are you ready to watch the Bears get crushed today?"
"Oh young son, how you are wrong," I inform him, "the Bears are going to win today."
I said this with a laugh, as I know, the Bears ALWAYS lose.
Game time, I have company so Travis begins watching the game without me. It took no time at all for the Packer's to get on the scoreboard, and no time at all for Travis to inform me.
"The Bears are already losing Mom" he yells from the next room.
I run to see, 3-0. Not too bad, I anticipate this only to get worse.
The room is quiet for quite a while and so I check in to see what is going on. I notice the score, 10-3.
"Hey," I say to Travis, "how is it you can inform me when the Packers score, but you say nothing that the Bears are WINNING?"
He gives me a look.
I laugh.
My company left and I joined him in the living room to watch what turned out to be a very disappointing game for him. I bugged him throughout the game, with each turnover, penalty and Brett Favre interception... he gave me look after look after look. We really had fun.
At the end of the game, I even sang him a little song (to the tune of Happy Birthday)
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Happy Bear Day to me"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Sad Packer Day to you"
"Very funny" he says to me when I am finished.
"Kyle thought so" I say with a smile as Kyle is smiling right back at me.
I asked him if he was glad to spend the afternoon with his mom for once and enjoy such a good game.
"I guess" he says, "but it would have been nicer if the Packers would've won.
"Maybe" I said.
"Will you play chess with me?" he asks.
I agree and we set the board up to play. 10 minutes later, I win.
"Hey Buddy, guess what? Not only are you having a sad Packer day, but you are having a sad chess day too!" I say with a smile, as I NEVER win when Travis and I play chess.
I agree to one more game and he wins. He looks at me and smiles then says, "At least someone right is winning around here today."
I smile.
You know, there is something about spending an afternoon watching a football game with your kids. It is almost like for those few hours you are on the same page and thinking the same thoughts.
Today, truly was a "Bear-y" special day.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Boo? Boo Who?
Young love. Isn't it sweet? My little 4 year old Jacob has had his share in his short little life, but there has only been one Boo. Boo, as we call her, or Rebecca, is the daughter of my best friend Michelle. She is just 3 months younger than Jacob and the two of them have been playing together since before Boo could, well, I guess before Boo could do anything!
Michelle and I have playfully coaching our two children and therefore, the two of them have always referred to the other as their boyfriend/girlfriend. This was very cute when they were little. Now, at 4, Jacob seems to think he knows all about girlfriends and has decided that Boo is NOT his girlfriend anymore.
Michelle watched Jacob and Kyle the other day while I worked. She informed me when I picked them up about a funny little story that happened that day. She had to take the kids in her car to pick up her older two daughters from school.
From the backseat she heard "I love you Jakey" (Jakey is what Boo has always called Jacob). "Yeah, well, I don't love you," Jacob responded. "I said I love you Jakey" Boo said again. "I said I DON"T LOVE YOU" shouted Jacob back at her.
Poor Boo. It hurts when the one you love doesn't love you back...
I asked Jacob about the incident. He informed me that he didn't love Boo anymore and that I was the only one that could be his girlfriend because he only loved me. He then mentioned a little something about Courtlyn. Hmmm... the other woman. Courtlyn is the 4 year old daughter of my new babysitter, Tammy. Now, this explains it all.
So the other night, Michelle calls me, laughing. She tells me that Boo came up to her and said "Mom, Jakey doesn't love me anymore. That's o.k though, he's still my boyfriend even if he doesn't love me".
She's in that denial stage - come on, all you women out there that have had your heart broken, you know right where she is.
Poor little Boo.
Young love... easy come, easy go. Who knows, maybe someday they will be married, going through Jacob's old baby books and will come across this story and laugh! Or maybe it will be Courtlyn and she will secretly think "Ha! Ha! I won!"
Michelle and I have playfully coaching our two children and therefore, the two of them have always referred to the other as their boyfriend/girlfriend. This was very cute when they were little. Now, at 4, Jacob seems to think he knows all about girlfriends and has decided that Boo is NOT his girlfriend anymore.
Michelle watched Jacob and Kyle the other day while I worked. She informed me when I picked them up about a funny little story that happened that day. She had to take the kids in her car to pick up her older two daughters from school.
From the backseat she heard "I love you Jakey" (Jakey is what Boo has always called Jacob). "Yeah, well, I don't love you," Jacob responded. "I said I love you Jakey" Boo said again. "I said I DON"T LOVE YOU" shouted Jacob back at her.
Poor Boo. It hurts when the one you love doesn't love you back...
I asked Jacob about the incident. He informed me that he didn't love Boo anymore and that I was the only one that could be his girlfriend because he only loved me. He then mentioned a little something about Courtlyn. Hmmm... the other woman. Courtlyn is the 4 year old daughter of my new babysitter, Tammy. Now, this explains it all.
So the other night, Michelle calls me, laughing. She tells me that Boo came up to her and said "Mom, Jakey doesn't love me anymore. That's o.k though, he's still my boyfriend even if he doesn't love me".
She's in that denial stage - come on, all you women out there that have had your heart broken, you know right where she is.
Poor little Boo.
Young love... easy come, easy go. Who knows, maybe someday they will be married, going through Jacob's old baby books and will come across this story and laugh! Or maybe it will be Courtlyn and she will secretly think "Ha! Ha! I won!"
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Jacob's Special Day
Early last week, Mark declared that Saturday would be Jacob's "Special Day". He had gone through a difficult week of missing his Daddy and Daddy missing him too... Saturday, Mark would be home all day and so that would be Jacob's "Special Day."
We started out the morning slow. Waking up late (a usual at our house), a quick breakfast, a few errands and then off to Fond du Lac we would go. Jacob decided he wanted to spend the day shopping with Daddy for a special prize for trying really hard to work through his stutterring last week.
Much to Jacob's disappointment, Mommy and Kyle had to come along too... he got over that pretty fast though and decided it would be "O.k." if we had to go.
We really didn't do anything out of the ordinary. We went to Target and Jacob found a special toy that he had wanted for his prize and walked around the store for awhile. The two of them (Mark and Jacob) were so cute to watch though - playing the PS2 "trial" games together and checking out all the toys... I was starting to think I had one more child with me that day.
After Target it was off to the mall just to walk around and "window" shop. We decided to check out the book store to see if they had Jacob's favorite book "Bear Snores On". We own this book, but it's a small paperback that we got from the Cheerios box last year and are always losing it in the house and I was hoping to find the hardcover copy for him. Jacob helped me search all the shelves, carefully checking out the stories. We found one about kisses from Mommy - Jacob said "Aw, that sounds nice, you think mama?" I did think. But we kept searching for Bear. Unfortunately, we couldn't find that book anywhere. Jacob was very disappointed. Just then, Daddy walked around the corner and joined the search. He managed to find a different book, "Bear Wants More" - the sequel to "Bear Snores On". Jacob's little face lit up - he was so excited.
"Thank you Daddy, thank you, thank you!"
Off to the cash register to pay for it. The cashier put it in a bag and Jacob carried it around for the rest of our trip.
We stopped at the OCB for dinner that night. This is Mark's favorite type of restaurant - not only do you get good food, but then there is dessert. He got Jacob all exicted about making his own sundae for desert. That little boy ate the best dinner ever - because without it, there would be no desert.
As I fed Kyle his last few bites of babyfood, I looked over and Mark had just finished his last plate of dinner. When he was finished, he opened his napkin and laid it over the top of his plate. Two seconds later, there was little Jacob, opening his napkin and carefully laying it over the top of his plate. Mark then took a different napkin and wiped his mouth, patted his lips and set the napkin on the table. Two seconds later, there was Jacob again, with another napkin - wiping his mouth and patting his lips - copying everything Mark did. It was really sweet.
"Desert time Daddy!" he said suddenly, breaking the moment both Mark and I were enjoying watching him copying his Dad.
Off to the desert bar they went. Jacob came back to the table with some chocolate cake. Mark with ice cream and cake.
"You share Daddy?" Jacob asked keeping his eye on Mark's food.
"You bet buddy."
The two of them sat and ate while I changed Kyle. When we were finished, we decided to go to the park by the lake for a visit.
Mark and Jacob climbed up to the top of the lighthouse at the park. I stayed in the car with Kyle as he was napping. Jacob yelled for me from the top of the lighthouse and waved his arms so I could see him.
When they came down, he had the biggest smile on his face. He climbed in the car and we headed back home.
"Thank you Daddy," he said from the back seat on the way home.
"For what buddy?"
"For the bestest day."
"You're welcome," Mark said with a smile.
"Daddy, I just love you," Jacob said with a big yawn.
"I love you too buddy."
We got home and Jacob stayed up to play with his new game for a little while. Then he climbed up on the couch by Mark and laid next to him until they both fell asleep.
I looked over at the two of them, before nudging Mark up to help me get Jacob to bed, and I just smiled thinking of how much that little boy loves his Daddy and how he tries so hard to be just like him. It's so sweet to watch that from the outside looking in, I can only imagine how it feels for Mark, being inside moments like that.
We started out the morning slow. Waking up late (a usual at our house), a quick breakfast, a few errands and then off to Fond du Lac we would go. Jacob decided he wanted to spend the day shopping with Daddy for a special prize for trying really hard to work through his stutterring last week.
Much to Jacob's disappointment, Mommy and Kyle had to come along too... he got over that pretty fast though and decided it would be "O.k." if we had to go.
We really didn't do anything out of the ordinary. We went to Target and Jacob found a special toy that he had wanted for his prize and walked around the store for awhile. The two of them (Mark and Jacob) were so cute to watch though - playing the PS2 "trial" games together and checking out all the toys... I was starting to think I had one more child with me that day.
After Target it was off to the mall just to walk around and "window" shop. We decided to check out the book store to see if they had Jacob's favorite book "Bear Snores On". We own this book, but it's a small paperback that we got from the Cheerios box last year and are always losing it in the house and I was hoping to find the hardcover copy for him. Jacob helped me search all the shelves, carefully checking out the stories. We found one about kisses from Mommy - Jacob said "Aw, that sounds nice, you think mama?" I did think. But we kept searching for Bear. Unfortunately, we couldn't find that book anywhere. Jacob was very disappointed. Just then, Daddy walked around the corner and joined the search. He managed to find a different book, "Bear Wants More" - the sequel to "Bear Snores On". Jacob's little face lit up - he was so excited.
"Thank you Daddy, thank you, thank you!"
Off to the cash register to pay for it. The cashier put it in a bag and Jacob carried it around for the rest of our trip.
We stopped at the OCB for dinner that night. This is Mark's favorite type of restaurant - not only do you get good food, but then there is dessert. He got Jacob all exicted about making his own sundae for desert. That little boy ate the best dinner ever - because without it, there would be no desert.
As I fed Kyle his last few bites of babyfood, I looked over and Mark had just finished his last plate of dinner. When he was finished, he opened his napkin and laid it over the top of his plate. Two seconds later, there was little Jacob, opening his napkin and carefully laying it over the top of his plate. Mark then took a different napkin and wiped his mouth, patted his lips and set the napkin on the table. Two seconds later, there was Jacob again, with another napkin - wiping his mouth and patting his lips - copying everything Mark did. It was really sweet.
"Desert time Daddy!" he said suddenly, breaking the moment both Mark and I were enjoying watching him copying his Dad.
Off to the desert bar they went. Jacob came back to the table with some chocolate cake. Mark with ice cream and cake.
"You share Daddy?" Jacob asked keeping his eye on Mark's food.
"You bet buddy."
The two of them sat and ate while I changed Kyle. When we were finished, we decided to go to the park by the lake for a visit.
Mark and Jacob climbed up to the top of the lighthouse at the park. I stayed in the car with Kyle as he was napping. Jacob yelled for me from the top of the lighthouse and waved his arms so I could see him.
When they came down, he had the biggest smile on his face. He climbed in the car and we headed back home.
"Thank you Daddy," he said from the back seat on the way home.
"For what buddy?"
"For the bestest day."
"You're welcome," Mark said with a smile.
"Daddy, I just love you," Jacob said with a big yawn.
"I love you too buddy."
We got home and Jacob stayed up to play with his new game for a little while. Then he climbed up on the couch by Mark and laid next to him until they both fell asleep.
I looked over at the two of them, before nudging Mark up to help me get Jacob to bed, and I just smiled thinking of how much that little boy loves his Daddy and how he tries so hard to be just like him. It's so sweet to watch that from the outside looking in, I can only imagine how it feels for Mark, being inside moments like that.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
The 4 Hour Nap
As the school year has drawn closer and closer, I have decided, like many parents out there, to begin early bedtimes and early morning routines.
Today, it backfired.
I sent the boys to bed at 8:30 last night. I knew they would be up early but that was o.k - we had to head off for the babysitter's house early anyway.
Jacob woke up promptly at 7:30 a.m. and headed straight for his brother's room. After the disappointing news that his brothers would not be going to the babysitter's house, Jacob began his crying and pouting. It's really a heartbreaking thing to see...
I dropped him off at the babysitter's house and he informed me he was tired. I told him it was o.k if he took a little bit of a nap in the morning if he was that sleepy and if it would help him feel better about his brothers.
I finished work and headed to the sitter's house sometime around 5:00 p.m. When I got there, she informed me that he fell asleep after lunch time, around 12:30 and slept until 4:30!! 4 HOURS!! Knowing it wasn't really her fault, I simply expressed in the future, I would really like to try everything to avoid this, but figured it would be a long night.
After a few hours of playing, it's now almost 10:30 and Jacob just informed me that maybe he might be getting tired, but "probably not yet". He has filled me in on all the crazy things a 4 year old loves. When I told him it was time for his "bedtime business" he told me "You rock, missy". I think he has truly entered "Loopyville" but yet, he's just not ready for bed. He has informed me of every fart he has let loose tonight because he finds them to be the funniest things, he has told me that he had to go poopy because "poopin' is cool". Then he danced around in his underwear because "me likes to be UNDY-BOY".
Did I mention today is my birthday? For my birthday today, I have enjoyed a free night of entertainment all because of a 4 hour nap.
Tomorrow, I'll be tired, but that's o.k. I know that Jacob will nap for me!
Today, it backfired.
I sent the boys to bed at 8:30 last night. I knew they would be up early but that was o.k - we had to head off for the babysitter's house early anyway.
Jacob woke up promptly at 7:30 a.m. and headed straight for his brother's room. After the disappointing news that his brothers would not be going to the babysitter's house, Jacob began his crying and pouting. It's really a heartbreaking thing to see...
I dropped him off at the babysitter's house and he informed me he was tired. I told him it was o.k if he took a little bit of a nap in the morning if he was that sleepy and if it would help him feel better about his brothers.
I finished work and headed to the sitter's house sometime around 5:00 p.m. When I got there, she informed me that he fell asleep after lunch time, around 12:30 and slept until 4:30!! 4 HOURS!! Knowing it wasn't really her fault, I simply expressed in the future, I would really like to try everything to avoid this, but figured it would be a long night.
After a few hours of playing, it's now almost 10:30 and Jacob just informed me that maybe he might be getting tired, but "probably not yet". He has filled me in on all the crazy things a 4 year old loves. When I told him it was time for his "bedtime business" he told me "You rock, missy". I think he has truly entered "Loopyville" but yet, he's just not ready for bed. He has informed me of every fart he has let loose tonight because he finds them to be the funniest things, he has told me that he had to go poopy because "poopin' is cool". Then he danced around in his underwear because "me likes to be UNDY-BOY".
Did I mention today is my birthday? For my birthday today, I have enjoyed a free night of entertainment all because of a 4 hour nap.
Tomorrow, I'll be tired, but that's o.k. I know that Jacob will nap for me!
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Another Year Gone By
Here I am, on the eve before my 32nd birthday, thinking about all that my children have taught me in the last year.
I have learned when your child plays tackle football, as a parent, you are on the edge of your seat every time they enter the game. A part of it is excitement hoping they do well to help their team, and the other part is fear that no one hurts your baby.
I have learned that when a child's teacher is expecting a baby the same time you are, that teacher will receive double the excitement and double the help as you - even though you are their mom.
I have learned that the child you least expect to be the cause behind a call from the principle's office for FIGHTING is the first one to expect after all.
I have learned that even though the bunny died months earlier, it is ok to cry and announce to everyone that you still miss your dead bunny.
I have learned that when a child loses someone special in their lives, that the pain of losing them is as fresh and real to them as it is to you many months down the road.
I have learned that according to an 8 year old, Texas is on the other side of the world.
I have learned that a rock can be the most beautiful discovery.
I have learned that when your brothers are in the room, your parent instantly becomes an invisible being.
I have learned that children will try really hard to make things come out of the noses of their brothers when they laugh.
I have learned that when you least expect your child to come through and help you, they are there, eager and willing to literally be your right hand.
I have learned that kids think it is fun to see what baby foods will get spit all the way across the room when the baby doesn't like them.
I have learned that only when their little brother is a baby will my older children ever fight over who gets to spend the most time with him.
I have learned that my 11 year old can hear me coming down the hall a lot better than my 8 year old when it's time for bed and they are still up talking.
I have learned that my children need to work on their whisper if they think they aren't going to get in trouble for talking in class from their teachers.
I have learned that when your child plays soccer, the first time they get hurt, that part of your body hurts too, only for a second, before your heart breaks when you see them in pain.
I have learned that nothing makes me smile more than coming home to a big "huggy" at the end of my day.
I have learned that I must be doing something right when I get a "Mommy, I just love you" at the end of my night before bed.
But most of all, I have learned that even when you have a bad night, there is nothing more precious then the feeling of love all of your children bring to your heart.
I have learned when your child plays tackle football, as a parent, you are on the edge of your seat every time they enter the game. A part of it is excitement hoping they do well to help their team, and the other part is fear that no one hurts your baby.
I have learned that when a child's teacher is expecting a baby the same time you are, that teacher will receive double the excitement and double the help as you - even though you are their mom.
I have learned that the child you least expect to be the cause behind a call from the principle's office for FIGHTING is the first one to expect after all.
I have learned that even though the bunny died months earlier, it is ok to cry and announce to everyone that you still miss your dead bunny.
I have learned that when a child loses someone special in their lives, that the pain of losing them is as fresh and real to them as it is to you many months down the road.
I have learned that according to an 8 year old, Texas is on the other side of the world.
I have learned that a rock can be the most beautiful discovery.
I have learned that when your brothers are in the room, your parent instantly becomes an invisible being.
I have learned that children will try really hard to make things come out of the noses of their brothers when they laugh.
I have learned that when you least expect your child to come through and help you, they are there, eager and willing to literally be your right hand.
I have learned that kids think it is fun to see what baby foods will get spit all the way across the room when the baby doesn't like them.
I have learned that only when their little brother is a baby will my older children ever fight over who gets to spend the most time with him.
I have learned that my 11 year old can hear me coming down the hall a lot better than my 8 year old when it's time for bed and they are still up talking.
I have learned that my children need to work on their whisper if they think they aren't going to get in trouble for talking in class from their teachers.
I have learned that when your child plays soccer, the first time they get hurt, that part of your body hurts too, only for a second, before your heart breaks when you see them in pain.
I have learned that nothing makes me smile more than coming home to a big "huggy" at the end of my day.
I have learned that I must be doing something right when I get a "Mommy, I just love you" at the end of my night before bed.
But most of all, I have learned that even when you have a bad night, there is nothing more precious then the feeling of love all of your children bring to your heart.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
A Broken Heart
Today was a better day. I didn't have any last minute morning forgetful moments. I didn't have a 2 hour car drive into work when my work is 20 minutes away. In fact, I woke up to a happy baby at 6:00 a.m. and it just made me smile.
I left work on time today - on time being the time I need to leave in time to pick up my children and still get home on time to see Mark before he leaves for work. It was really just a good day.
I arrived at the babysitters to pick up my children and all of them were good today. Alex, Jacob and Kyle were not only good there, but they all had fun. What could be better?
I left the sitters house a little behind schedule. I talk too much so I have been told. It was going to be a tough race to make it home in time to see Mark before he left for work.
I pulled in the driveway as he was walking out the front door. He got to the car and Jacob began to cry. "Don't leave Daddy, Daddy, don't leave!"
Mark made it to the window to assure him that he would wait.
I got to Jacob's car door and he had tears rolling down his cheeks. "Mama," he said sadly,"I can't get out. I am stuck. I am going to miss Daddy. HURRY MAMA!"
I got him out of his seatbelt and he ran to Mark as if it would be the last time he would ever see him.
"Bye Dadda, I love you. I'm gonna miss you."
"Bye Buddy, I'll be home in the morning."
"Dadda?"
"Yes Buddy?"
"Um, Dadda? If you get sad and miss me, and if you cry, just come home, o.k Dadda?"
"O.k. Buddy."
He gave Mark one more last kiss and a "huggy" and then Mark set him down and got in the car. As the car began to pull out of the driveway, Jacob began to get sad and yelled after the car "DADDA! DADDA!"
Mark rolled down the window, "What Buddy?"
"Dadda? I am going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too Buddy" Mark said, "Don't be sad Buddy, Mama is home."
"I know," Jacob said with tears in his eyes, "but I think I am just going to miss you."
With that, Mark blew him a kiss and sent him a hug. Jacob did the same and then the car pulled out of the driveway.
Jacob looked up at me with his big brown tear-filled eyes, "Mama, can I have an icecream cone?"
"You bet Buddy" I replied.
Between you and me? In that moment he could have asked me for anything and I would have gotten it for him.
There is nothing worse than a broken heart, except the broken heart of one of your own children.
I left work on time today - on time being the time I need to leave in time to pick up my children and still get home on time to see Mark before he leaves for work. It was really just a good day.
I arrived at the babysitters to pick up my children and all of them were good today. Alex, Jacob and Kyle were not only good there, but they all had fun. What could be better?
I left the sitters house a little behind schedule. I talk too much so I have been told. It was going to be a tough race to make it home in time to see Mark before he left for work.
I pulled in the driveway as he was walking out the front door. He got to the car and Jacob began to cry. "Don't leave Daddy, Daddy, don't leave!"
Mark made it to the window to assure him that he would wait.
I got to Jacob's car door and he had tears rolling down his cheeks. "Mama," he said sadly,"I can't get out. I am stuck. I am going to miss Daddy. HURRY MAMA!"
I got him out of his seatbelt and he ran to Mark as if it would be the last time he would ever see him.
"Bye Dadda, I love you. I'm gonna miss you."
"Bye Buddy, I'll be home in the morning."
"Dadda?"
"Yes Buddy?"
"Um, Dadda? If you get sad and miss me, and if you cry, just come home, o.k Dadda?"
"O.k. Buddy."
He gave Mark one more last kiss and a "huggy" and then Mark set him down and got in the car. As the car began to pull out of the driveway, Jacob began to get sad and yelled after the car "DADDA! DADDA!"
Mark rolled down the window, "What Buddy?"
"Dadda? I am going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too Buddy" Mark said, "Don't be sad Buddy, Mama is home."
"I know," Jacob said with tears in his eyes, "but I think I am just going to miss you."
With that, Mark blew him a kiss and sent him a hug. Jacob did the same and then the car pulled out of the driveway.
Jacob looked up at me with his big brown tear-filled eyes, "Mama, can I have an icecream cone?"
"You bet Buddy" I replied.
Between you and me? In that moment he could have asked me for anything and I would have gotten it for him.
There is nothing worse than a broken heart, except the broken heart of one of your own children.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Monday Mayhem
There was no doubt - today was Monday.
I began my morning at 6:30 a.m. when Kyle decided it was time to be awake and start his day. He is always so happy in the morning though so it is difficult to be upset that I had another hour to sleep.
We played in bed though. He is so cozy in the morning. I'd tickle him and he'd laugh. Then he would grab my face and try to "kiss" me. It's so sweet.
Around 7:30, I rolled out of bed shortly after Kyle decided to fall back asleep - just my luck.
None of the boys were happy with having to get out of bed this morning. It must have been in the air. But irregardless, we all started our day.
I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. This is my normal routine. Mostly trying to get the diaper bag packed and getting the kids fed. I named off everything I needed to pack in the diaper bag, double checked my list, packed my lunch and sent the kids to the van. I then ran and grabbed my sleepy little Kyle, kissed Mark good-bye and out the door we went - it was 8:45 a.m.
Around 9:00 a.m. I made it to my first stop-Travis and Alex's Aunt's house. She watches them during the day. Sent them out the door and took off to my next stop.
Around 9:15 a.m. I made it to destination #2 - the babysitter's house. I quickly ran through the diaper bag with her - making sure everything was there. I mentioned Kyle's new eating schedule etc... then it hit me. I had forgotten to pack Kyle's milk! UGH! This meant a 15-20 minute trot back to my house to pick up his milk and then a 15-20 minute trot back to her house! I didn't need this. But Kyle needs to eat.
After running to the pharmacy (saving the babysitter a trip since I was going back through town anyway) I made it to the road my house is on at approximately 9:45 a.m. What is this? Road closed signs on my street? How ridiculous. I live on a little country road they never fix - heck they hardly ever plow - what do they want now? I figure I can get through - after all they can't block the people that live there from their homes, right? WRONG. I had to turn around and go around the block (5 miles around the block) and enter my road from the other side. UGH!
9:55 a.m. I leave my driveway - again.
I arrive BACK at the babysitter's house at approximately 10:10 a.m. with milk in hand. Then back to the car I go.
Stop #3 finds me at a customer's home. I have to drop off the company "loaner" car I had been driving all morning and pick up her vehicle for work. I arrive there at 10:20 a.m. and back on the road in no time at all. PHEW! What a morning. It can only get better from here.
The time clock clicks 10:50 a.m. as I punch in - 2 HOURS after I left my house the first time - what the heck! Oh well. Two seconds later the phone rings - it's the babysitter - I forgot to pack Kyle's bottles to drink the milk I ran back to get! I give up.
She's a great sitter and tells me that she will see if he will drink milk from his cup today (we are trying this "cup-thing" for a week or so now) if not, she thinks she has a bottle that maybe he'll use though it isn't the same kind as his. I tell her that I will see if I can reach my father to run some bottles out to her - just in case.
More worries? Yes. I try calling my Dad, his line is busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. Now, I begin to worry. 2 1/2 hours later when it still busy - I am in a state of panic. My Dad is never on the phone that long, besides that, I think he has call waiting - I shouldn't be getting a busy signal unless something is wrong. My nerves get the best of me and I start thinking all kinds of horrible things. So I call the next door neighbor. She calls back about 20 minutes later to tell me that his phone was off the hook and he's not even home. PHEW! O.k. - my heart begins to rest. But what about Kyle's bottles?
I call the sitter - he's taking her bottle and everything is o.k.
The Lord is so good. Through my chaos, He made sure that my baby would be o.k.
4:00 p.m it's time to leave work early today as the sitter had to be someplace too. I reach in my purse to get out the keys to MY car that I haven't driven since Friday (I had to take home that "loaner" vehicle for the customer, remember?) Wouldn't you know? I forgot to bring my keys to work! I had to borrow another "loaner" vehicle from my boss to get home! UGH! it continues!
I get in the van that he loaned me and look down - the gas tank? EMPTY! So now that I am running late - I need to stop for gas. No big deal, this should only take a minute and it did. Back on the road - thankful to be heading home.
I arrive at the babysitters house at 4:45 p.m. - right on time. The kids were good - everything is o.k - load them up and off to pick-up the older boys.
I arrive at their Aunt's house at 5:20 p.m. Unload Jacob and Kyle so I can quick talk to her. She mentions she has some clothes for me for Jacob - this is good news as he is always in need! We go through them, pick out some nice things and pile them up in the back of the van I am driving, after which, we pile the kids in too!
Finally, homeward bound.
6:00 p.m I pull into the driveway. I climb out of the van, open the door for the kids to pile out and remind Travis and Alex I will need their help bringing in the clothes. I open the back of the van just in time to be sprayed with sprinkler. The sprinkler? Yes, the sprinkler is on the grass right next to the van - Jacob thought it would be funny to turn it on and spray "his brothers!" Instead, he got me and ALL THE CLOTHES in the back of the van! Will today ever end?
Into the house to wake Mark up for work. Pack his lunch, kiss him good-bye and turn back to the house of screaming children.
After a quick visit by my Dad, the kids and I sit down to eat dinner. During dinner, Jacob starts acting silly. I can't even tell you what he was doing, because I really don't know. I do know that it made the boys laugh so hard they were afraid the food they were eating was going to come out of their noses! Kyle was in his high chair laughing and spitting out his peas. Jacob continued his entertainment. Finally, all I could do was laugh and laugh.
Monday mayhem? Yes. But tomorrow is another day and if I had missed today and all the messes that surrounded me, would I have had the moment of silliness at dinner and the chance to laugh with my children? I don't know, and that is something I wouldn't ever want to give up.
I began my morning at 6:30 a.m. when Kyle decided it was time to be awake and start his day. He is always so happy in the morning though so it is difficult to be upset that I had another hour to sleep.
We played in bed though. He is so cozy in the morning. I'd tickle him and he'd laugh. Then he would grab my face and try to "kiss" me. It's so sweet.
Around 7:30, I rolled out of bed shortly after Kyle decided to fall back asleep - just my luck.
None of the boys were happy with having to get out of bed this morning. It must have been in the air. But irregardless, we all started our day.
I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. This is my normal routine. Mostly trying to get the diaper bag packed and getting the kids fed. I named off everything I needed to pack in the diaper bag, double checked my list, packed my lunch and sent the kids to the van. I then ran and grabbed my sleepy little Kyle, kissed Mark good-bye and out the door we went - it was 8:45 a.m.
Around 9:00 a.m. I made it to my first stop-Travis and Alex's Aunt's house. She watches them during the day. Sent them out the door and took off to my next stop.
Around 9:15 a.m. I made it to destination #2 - the babysitter's house. I quickly ran through the diaper bag with her - making sure everything was there. I mentioned Kyle's new eating schedule etc... then it hit me. I had forgotten to pack Kyle's milk! UGH! This meant a 15-20 minute trot back to my house to pick up his milk and then a 15-20 minute trot back to her house! I didn't need this. But Kyle needs to eat.
After running to the pharmacy (saving the babysitter a trip since I was going back through town anyway) I made it to the road my house is on at approximately 9:45 a.m. What is this? Road closed signs on my street? How ridiculous. I live on a little country road they never fix - heck they hardly ever plow - what do they want now? I figure I can get through - after all they can't block the people that live there from their homes, right? WRONG. I had to turn around and go around the block (5 miles around the block) and enter my road from the other side. UGH!
9:55 a.m. I leave my driveway - again.
I arrive BACK at the babysitter's house at approximately 10:10 a.m. with milk in hand. Then back to the car I go.
Stop #3 finds me at a customer's home. I have to drop off the company "loaner" car I had been driving all morning and pick up her vehicle for work. I arrive there at 10:20 a.m. and back on the road in no time at all. PHEW! What a morning. It can only get better from here.
The time clock clicks 10:50 a.m. as I punch in - 2 HOURS after I left my house the first time - what the heck! Oh well. Two seconds later the phone rings - it's the babysitter - I forgot to pack Kyle's bottles to drink the milk I ran back to get! I give up.
She's a great sitter and tells me that she will see if he will drink milk from his cup today (we are trying this "cup-thing" for a week or so now) if not, she thinks she has a bottle that maybe he'll use though it isn't the same kind as his. I tell her that I will see if I can reach my father to run some bottles out to her - just in case.
More worries? Yes. I try calling my Dad, his line is busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. 15 minutes later, still busy. Now, I begin to worry. 2 1/2 hours later when it still busy - I am in a state of panic. My Dad is never on the phone that long, besides that, I think he has call waiting - I shouldn't be getting a busy signal unless something is wrong. My nerves get the best of me and I start thinking all kinds of horrible things. So I call the next door neighbor. She calls back about 20 minutes later to tell me that his phone was off the hook and he's not even home. PHEW! O.k. - my heart begins to rest. But what about Kyle's bottles?
I call the sitter - he's taking her bottle and everything is o.k.
The Lord is so good. Through my chaos, He made sure that my baby would be o.k.
4:00 p.m it's time to leave work early today as the sitter had to be someplace too. I reach in my purse to get out the keys to MY car that I haven't driven since Friday (I had to take home that "loaner" vehicle for the customer, remember?) Wouldn't you know? I forgot to bring my keys to work! I had to borrow another "loaner" vehicle from my boss to get home! UGH! it continues!
I get in the van that he loaned me and look down - the gas tank? EMPTY! So now that I am running late - I need to stop for gas. No big deal, this should only take a minute and it did. Back on the road - thankful to be heading home.
I arrive at the babysitters house at 4:45 p.m. - right on time. The kids were good - everything is o.k - load them up and off to pick-up the older boys.
I arrive at their Aunt's house at 5:20 p.m. Unload Jacob and Kyle so I can quick talk to her. She mentions she has some clothes for me for Jacob - this is good news as he is always in need! We go through them, pick out some nice things and pile them up in the back of the van I am driving, after which, we pile the kids in too!
Finally, homeward bound.
6:00 p.m I pull into the driveway. I climb out of the van, open the door for the kids to pile out and remind Travis and Alex I will need their help bringing in the clothes. I open the back of the van just in time to be sprayed with sprinkler. The sprinkler? Yes, the sprinkler is on the grass right next to the van - Jacob thought it would be funny to turn it on and spray "his brothers!" Instead, he got me and ALL THE CLOTHES in the back of the van! Will today ever end?
Into the house to wake Mark up for work. Pack his lunch, kiss him good-bye and turn back to the house of screaming children.
After a quick visit by my Dad, the kids and I sit down to eat dinner. During dinner, Jacob starts acting silly. I can't even tell you what he was doing, because I really don't know. I do know that it made the boys laugh so hard they were afraid the food they were eating was going to come out of their noses! Kyle was in his high chair laughing and spitting out his peas. Jacob continued his entertainment. Finally, all I could do was laugh and laugh.
Monday mayhem? Yes. But tomorrow is another day and if I had missed today and all the messes that surrounded me, would I have had the moment of silliness at dinner and the chance to laugh with my children? I don't know, and that is something I wouldn't ever want to give up.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Big Brother Entertainment
Just yesterday I wondered what it might be like to have a NORMAL 4 year old. I guess I forgot what they talk like and what they talk about... hmmm...
My four year old? Well, he's another story. Typical he is not. I think he has learned all of his latest phrases from his brothers, and maybe from Playstation too.
We were on our way home from picking up his older brother yesterday, when Jacob belts out from the van "Go Travy, it's your birthday, Go Travy". In his next breath,I hear him tell Travis all about playing "Harry Potter" with the babysitter. He told him that Alex beat her playing chess and it was "sweet". Then he continued with how he beat her as well and then began to chant "Who's good? Me good. Who's good?" Hmmm... is that what normal 4 year olds talk about? Then again, I guess I am not sure what a normal 4 year old is, but I think they are probably not running around saying "Let's get this party started".
I have just concluded that he learns these things by watching and copying his older brothers. After all, he really looks up to them. Along with all his "clean" entertaining phrases, he occasionally slips in a naughty word - then I know his brothers are teaching more than I would like him to learn.
Jacob is not the only one learning new and entertaining things from his older brothers. Tonight, I was trying to clean up dinner and Kyle was in his high chair. He grows bored with his high chair at a pretty fast pace. At times like this, it's nice to have big brothers around.
Travis was on the entertainment list for the night. He began to do a funny dance for Kyle. Dancing around the kitchen, talking like a baby. Kyle laughed. Travis laughed. I laughed too. I think I laughed more when I thought of how entertaining that would have been to capture on video and play for him when he's 25 and brings home a girlfriend. (Yes, I did say 25, I decided my children won't be dating before then! :)
I am amazed with my boys though. Travis provides entertainment for Kyle on a daily basis. He likes to sing and dance and talk to him. He'll even play hide and seek which Kyle just loves. Alex is Jacob's entertainment. He plays playstation with him and Harry Potter. They will go outside and pretend to play Pokemon for hours. For Alex and Jacob though, their best form of entertainment is still a good old fashioned fight.
I walk into a room and all I see is Jacob sitting on Alex's head and Alex's feet kicking out from under him. There is screaming, crying and a lot of complaining. In the end, there are no broken bones, no blood and no need for hospital visits. I have learned though, that too will come.
So whether the older boys enjoy providing entertainment for the younger ones, I don't really know. But there is one thing I am sure of, the younger ones love the entertainment the older ones provide. And as Jacob would say, "it's too sweet".
My four year old? Well, he's another story. Typical he is not. I think he has learned all of his latest phrases from his brothers, and maybe from Playstation too.
We were on our way home from picking up his older brother yesterday, when Jacob belts out from the van "Go Travy, it's your birthday, Go Travy". In his next breath,I hear him tell Travis all about playing "Harry Potter" with the babysitter. He told him that Alex beat her playing chess and it was "sweet". Then he continued with how he beat her as well and then began to chant "Who's good? Me good. Who's good?" Hmmm... is that what normal 4 year olds talk about? Then again, I guess I am not sure what a normal 4 year old is, but I think they are probably not running around saying "Let's get this party started".
I have just concluded that he learns these things by watching and copying his older brothers. After all, he really looks up to them. Along with all his "clean" entertaining phrases, he occasionally slips in a naughty word - then I know his brothers are teaching more than I would like him to learn.
Jacob is not the only one learning new and entertaining things from his older brothers. Tonight, I was trying to clean up dinner and Kyle was in his high chair. He grows bored with his high chair at a pretty fast pace. At times like this, it's nice to have big brothers around.
Travis was on the entertainment list for the night. He began to do a funny dance for Kyle. Dancing around the kitchen, talking like a baby. Kyle laughed. Travis laughed. I laughed too. I think I laughed more when I thought of how entertaining that would have been to capture on video and play for him when he's 25 and brings home a girlfriend. (Yes, I did say 25, I decided my children won't be dating before then! :)
I am amazed with my boys though. Travis provides entertainment for Kyle on a daily basis. He likes to sing and dance and talk to him. He'll even play hide and seek which Kyle just loves. Alex is Jacob's entertainment. He plays playstation with him and Harry Potter. They will go outside and pretend to play Pokemon for hours. For Alex and Jacob though, their best form of entertainment is still a good old fashioned fight.
I walk into a room and all I see is Jacob sitting on Alex's head and Alex's feet kicking out from under him. There is screaming, crying and a lot of complaining. In the end, there are no broken bones, no blood and no need for hospital visits. I have learned though, that too will come.
So whether the older boys enjoy providing entertainment for the younger ones, I don't really know. But there is one thing I am sure of, the younger ones love the entertainment the older ones provide. And as Jacob would say, "it's too sweet".
Friday, August 13, 2004
By Two's
It's been about two weeks since I have had time to write.
It's been about two weeks since I have gotten a good night of sleep.
It's been about two week's since I have had a chance to play my nightly game of Clue with my children.
Two weeks since I have mowed the lawn.
Two weeks since I have trimmed the weeds.
Two weeks since I have successfully completed all my laundry.
Two weeks ago Kyle started teething.
Tonight, I was home for two minutes before he smiled at me.
A beautiful smile with two teeth!
It's been about two weeks since I have gotten a good night of sleep.
It's been about two week's since I have had a chance to play my nightly game of Clue with my children.
Two weeks since I have mowed the lawn.
Two weeks since I have trimmed the weeds.
Two weeks since I have successfully completed all my laundry.
Two weeks ago Kyle started teething.
Tonight, I was home for two minutes before he smiled at me.
A beautiful smile with two teeth!
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Quick Update
The surgery scheduled for my c/t syndrome has been changed from August 2nd to August 27th. So for those of you have been so wonderful to pray for a quick and safe recovery for me, I thank you, I will be needing those prayers eventually!! :)
Teething Terrors
It's now been 2 nights of this horrible time - teething.
Kyle is getting his first tooth (teeth?) and it's been horrible. He is fussy all day long. Nothing seems to keep him satisfied for very long. Night time has been complete misery.
I start out trying to get him to sleep by 8. Because of the noise of the other boys, this doesn't happen. Finally at 9, Jacob, Kyle and I climb into bed to go to sleep. Jacob whines for about 15 minutes about "stupid nighttime" - keeping Kyle wide awake and then after Jacob falls asleep, Kyle begins.
He first acts as though he is hungry and then tired and then the screaming begins. This is horrible. I don't know what to do to help the poor child. I have tried every trick in the book and have even given him infant pain reliever. Thank goodness I know this isn't forever. It breaks my heart to see him so sad and not himself.
Eventually he zonks out from exhaustion.
Eventually, I will too.
Kyle is getting his first tooth (teeth?) and it's been horrible. He is fussy all day long. Nothing seems to keep him satisfied for very long. Night time has been complete misery.
I start out trying to get him to sleep by 8. Because of the noise of the other boys, this doesn't happen. Finally at 9, Jacob, Kyle and I climb into bed to go to sleep. Jacob whines for about 15 minutes about "stupid nighttime" - keeping Kyle wide awake and then after Jacob falls asleep, Kyle begins.
He first acts as though he is hungry and then tired and then the screaming begins. This is horrible. I don't know what to do to help the poor child. I have tried every trick in the book and have even given him infant pain reliever. Thank goodness I know this isn't forever. It breaks my heart to see him so sad and not himself.
Eventually he zonks out from exhaustion.
Eventually, I will too.
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