Reflections

Strength.
Resilience.
Positive.

These 3 words were used to describe my Little Man tonight by his teacher during his parent teacher conference.  I am so proud of him, and she is too.

This conference was not like most I have been to in all the years I have been going, in fact, at first I wasn't even sure why I was going to a spring parent teacher conference at all.  I don't know that I have ever been called in for one for any of the boys in all the years I have been going (have you noticed that I have avoided trying to count exactly how many years this has been?)

Tonight's conference was mostly about sharing a little bit about our story.  Kyle's teacher needed to understand a little bit about where Kyle was coming from when he was having a little eating issue earlier this year and when I started explaining a few back stories, a whole lot of pieces started fitting together.

I guess I don't talk too much about things at home with the boys teachers.  Maybe because I have always felt judged in the past - being the busy single Mom or the unmarried Mom with the boyfriend or the husband that left her.  I don't know.  I used to read more into things than I should have.  I realized tonight the importance of the pieces at home fitting into the academics.  I realized tonight that my son, despite the stress that we had going on at home in the fall, never showed any sign of it at school.  He never let anyone see how much he was hurting.  I realized tonight that it wasn't until the stress at home was gone that my son finally "cracked" and just needed a break and stopped caring at school.  Maybe it was his way of finally get some of the attention he longed for.

I also realized tonight that sitting with this teacher that had taught all 4 of my children, that my boys have lived through some pretty horrible things and came out pretty strong kids.  I know that they still have their demons and they are still fighting them - but they are strong and they were resilient and I am so proud of all 4 of them.

Looking back at the reflections of our lives and where we were and what we have been through - each of us should be proud.  We made it through some pretty tough battles.  I love my children - I would do anything for them - even if that means teaching them through tough love and methods of parenting that they might not always agree with... parenting is hard.  Being a single mom is hard.  I am grateful that my husband is with me now to help me along the way but I was alone for a long time, even when I was't by myself.

Resilient - yes.  My children are resilient but they have hearts and those hearts have been broken and they don't always mend as softly as they once were - sadly - they have hardened hearts that will be tough to break through but I pray that in time, the right person will be able to show them that not everyone leaves and it's ok and safe to love again ....

Strong and true - this I know they know - but only for one thing - those they love and for family.  For my children there is nothing greater than family.

I am proud of my children.  All 4 of my children.  Tonight was the best conference ever.