Always for My Monkeys

Usually I write little stories about the boys. Cute things they say or do that I never want to forget that can so easily be forgotten in the business of life...

This time, I decided it needed to be different.

Recently, I have talked to too many people experiencing the same thing as I am - going through a divorce. The most important thing about my divorce, and many of theirs, is that we are not going through it alone. Too often, there are children involved.

No matter what the circumstance is surrounding a divorce - whether one spouse has been unfaithful or if your marriage has ended for any other reason - the children need to become the focus of your actions. This is too often forgotten.

In my situation, it was difficult as my husband had ALWAYS been the caretaker for my children. As a mom, it was such a difficult choice for me to let my babies go and let them go live with their Dad and to become the "every-other-weekend" parent. It tore me apart and my empty house suddenly became a place I really didn't want to be.

Recent circumstances has changed that arrangement and my monkeys are now back at home with me, and though I couldn't be happier, in my heart, I still feel for their father. After all, I think about how my heart was broken when they left my home and so I know that his was broken too when he moved their things back in the house last night.

In fact, he even said to me, as he carried in the last bag, "I want you to know this is the worst feeling I have ever felt."

The thing that I want to share with my friends that are experiencing these things, is that above all else - no matter what hatred or hurt you might be feeling, keep your kids first. Continue to be a responsible parent, a loving parent and remember right now, your children are probably really confused - so love them just a little more than you ever have before, give them that extra time, play that extra game of cards before bed, give them 20 hugs instead of 10.

At the same time, provide them some stability. Keep to your rules and be a responsible loving parent - they need you now more than ever.

You might find that you need them now more than ever too!