On my journey to strengthen my faith in our Savior, I have been trying so hard to remember to not be anxious and to give my troubles to the Lord and let my load be lighter. It is so difficult at times to do this, and this is one of those times.
My little Kyle has been so sick. Since January, he has gone through phases of vomitting, diarrhea, and just plain feeling lousy. Today was no different.
I was at work for an hour when the phone rang...
"Honey, I think I am going to need your help today" Mark says to me on the other end of the line.
"O.k." I say, a little confused...
"Kyle woke up with CRAP from neck down" he says... "It is horrible"
"I'm sorry" I say... this is difficult for me... being at work all the time, I miss all those little things in life with children. You know, their first steps, first words, etc.. etc.. and yes, I also miss the yucky things, like this.
"On top of it all, before I could even bring him out to the living room to get him completely cleaned up, started puking and then THREW UP ALL OVER THE LIVING!"
O.k... so this time he is shouting in the phone, I think to let me know that it's really bad. I understand that it is bad, puking is never a good thing. I think I learned this when Travis puked on me for the first time almost 11 years ago when he was 2. Ritz Crackers and Cherry Kool-Aid, right in my face - dripping off my glasses. It was the WORST! Or, so I thought, until Kyle recently added to my puking stories by throwing up on me while I was laying in bed. He sat up, puked all over me. I didn't think it seemed too bad, until I stood up and felt cold, smelly puke, running down my back and then my legs... now that, is by far, the worst feeling in the world.
So not doubting that my husband had a bad experience. I merely told him I was sorry and that I would call him again in a little bit so that he would have some time to clean everything up.
Realizing that may have seemed insensitive, I did call the doctor too... I need to get him in again they tell me.
So, I leave work (much to my bosses disliking) and drive home, grab Kyle, and drive to Hartford where the doctor that my insurance company tells me that I have to go to practices so-called medicine. I had been here before - around the 20th of January when this whole puking thing began, and here I am again - almost 2 months later. How ridiculous it seems to me that no one can tell me what is wrong with my little boy.
The nurse comes to get me right away. This is great because for anyone with a 2 year old, they know how much it SUCKS to be stuck in the waiting room any longer than they have to be. Unfortunately, my luck stopped there. She did her thing, left and almost 40 minutes later the doctor FINALLY comes in! O.k. - so I have been locked up in a tiny 10x12 room with 3 toys (all of which were not much to play with) for 40 minutes with a 2 year old that does NOT want to be there anymore. "Home now, Mama" is all I heard.
So, Doctor What's His Name, comes in and checks Kyle's ears, nose, mouth and throat, he puts him up on the table so Kyle could scream a little louder (as if he wasn't crying enough) and puts his hand on his stomach.
"It's hard for me to tell what is going on with him crying like that - make him stop"
I laugh. Make him stop. Make a 2 year old stop crying at a doctor's office? This guy has got to be on crack.
"I guess he won't stop" he says.
Who says doctor's aren't the most intelligent people on earth.
Well, everything seems good. I think he's puking because of that antibiotic I had him on (2 weeks ago!)
He explains to me all this mumbo-jumbo about bacteria and good bacteria, bad bacteria - whatever... I don't believe him. Maybe he is right, but today I don't believe him because my GUT tells me he is wrong. My son has been sick for almost 2 months - the antibiotic was for 10 days 2 weeks ago - how do you explain the rest of it?
I am so sorry Lord. I am trying to have faith today. I am trying to believe that all of this is for a reason, but why would you make a doctor so incompetent? And why my son? And if I am supposed to be able to just give this to You, why is it stuck in my gut?
I think because in addition to it all Lord, I am a Mom.
